And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
