i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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