i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize