She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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