remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
