Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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