omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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