But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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