So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
