I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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