Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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