I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
