Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
