Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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