I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
