I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
