I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
