do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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