have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
