I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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