The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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