i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
