I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize