omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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