I can't watch pbs sober anymore
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They have beer where we have blood.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize