Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
