There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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