I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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