it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
