Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
