if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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