is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
