I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
