ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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