The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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