so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
