We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
