Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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