Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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