Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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