after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
