They should really pass out barf bags in church
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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