think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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