This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize