Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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