Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
bring money and cleavage
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
