I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
