So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
