All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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