Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
