They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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