put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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