im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
