so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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