nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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