You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
