Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
