why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
