why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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