Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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