We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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