Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
