this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize