Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
